I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How external is "for external use only"?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
