Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got inside last night via doggy door
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
