He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
