That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
