So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
