your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
