we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
