Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
