I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
