our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
