I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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