I seem to have left my pride at pride
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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