Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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