but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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