Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
