I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
