Who wears a wallet chain?!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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