Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
