Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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