physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
