I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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