so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
did i walk over a car last night?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
