Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
