we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is Oprah even human
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
