I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
did i walk over a car last night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
