when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
