Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
