Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There r osticjed everywhere
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
