were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
