addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
