I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
