you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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