dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
