I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
