This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
