I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
