...so i touched it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
