You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
And then he peed in my hair
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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