oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
