just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm too high and old for this...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
