wrigley field is MILF paradise
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
