There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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