im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
