I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
