I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
