i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
