maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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