id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
