after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
