and i looked up. we had an audience...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
