Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
