Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
