So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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